he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
