ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
