your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
