the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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