Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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