don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
