his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
