Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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