Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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