Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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