How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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