I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
