I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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