her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
