Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
