Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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