My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
