At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
