I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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