i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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