is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
