i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
