I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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