If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
