No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
