She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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