All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
