at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
