walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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