his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
two words: eviction party
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
