I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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