I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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