Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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