Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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