You smell like stripper and shame
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize