Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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