No awkward lesbian experiences without me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
