So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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