Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1334) Bad night (7194)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that

  (850): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure thats an 11

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  (941): i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that (850): im pretty sure thats an 11 http://tfl.nu/g2lw
  Replies (23) Good night (4258) Bad night (1272)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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  (608): buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system http://tfl.nu/p1zb
  Replies (8) Good night (2806) Bad night (601)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
  Replies (81) Good night (2837) Bad night (6245)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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  (717): RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea? http://tfl.nu/y40i
  Replies (46) Good night (1422) Bad night (7765)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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  (224): Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/yhb5
  Replies (39) Good night (4427) Bad night (1037)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

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  (217): Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you. http://tfl.nu/3vuw
  Replies (6) Good night (2134) Bad night (777)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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  (715): I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT. http://tfl.nu/2ujd
  Replies (27) Good night (3442) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.

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  (707): Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6mha
  Replies (6) Good night (1521) Bad night (465)
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  (707): View more from California

  Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.

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  (707): Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got. http://tfl.nu/yk6y
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (1516)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

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  (850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (370)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (510)
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  (655): View more from

  Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?

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  (655): Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall? http://tfl.nu/cvrt
  Replies (12) Good night (1895) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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  (608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5
  Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (294)
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  (619): View more from California

  I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.

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  (619): I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain. http://tfl.nu/lmb6
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (556)

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