im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.