Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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(214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y

Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (4083)
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(352): View more from Florida

She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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(352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu

Replies (31) Good night (2828) Bad night (1386)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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(608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv

Replies (25) Good night (3935) Bad night (655)
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(303): View more from Colorado

she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?

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(303): she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out? http://tfl.nu/1nw7

Replies (69) Good night (10366) Bad night (1297)
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(415): View more from California

if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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(415): if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays? http://tfl.nu/4fwl

Replies (26) Good night (991) Bad night (4708)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.

(260): View more from Indiana

He probs deserved it.

(317): View more from Indiana

Every good man does.

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(317): I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell. (260): He probs deserved it. (317): Every good man does. http://tfl.nu/4ma5

Replies (32) Good night (5689) Bad night (1860)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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(704): He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/j8z9

Replies (32) Good night (5922) Bad night (3670)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.

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(843): I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower. http://tfl.nu/3pc6

Replies (15) Good night (4539) Bad night (1920)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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(401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr

Replies (13) Good night (1237) Bad night (3023)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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(636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba

Replies (6) Good night (2326) Bad night (855)
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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8

Replies (5) Good night (1940) Bad night (610)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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(615): we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress. http://tfl.nu/a7a3

Replies (0) Good night (1883) Bad night (775)
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(831): View more from California

sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.

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(831): sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college. http://tfl.nu/u990

Replies (3) Good night (1890) Bad night (614)
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(425): View more from Washington

UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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(425): UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD http://tfl.nu/7k7x

Replies (9) Good night (2590) Bad night (738)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.

(779): View more from Illinois

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.

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(402): Dude, I have everything I need for meth here. (779): YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT. http://tfl.nu/5fhr

Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (642)

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