we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.