I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.