Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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  (937): I'll bet she douches with gravy. http://tfl.nu/j4az
  Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (3119)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

  (206): View more from Washington

  joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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  (206): remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine? (206): joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/ignl
  Replies (13) Good night (1998) Bad night (601)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?

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  (847): how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan? http://tfl.nu/u97s
  Replies (15) Good night (3677) Bad night (847)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4233) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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  (660): Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport... http://tfl.nu/e5jz
  Replies (12) Good night (4248) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.

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  (919): I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage. http://tfl.nu/i318
  Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (3444)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong

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  (203): i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong http://tfl.nu/c7ef
  Replies (7) Good night (3574) Bad night (776)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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  (204): I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake. http://tfl.nu/a9s8
  Replies (3) Good night (1997) Bad night (770)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"

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  (845): I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl" http://tfl.nu/lnr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1211) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.

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  (+61): only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/rzvd
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (355)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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  (215): It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater. http://tfl.nu/563x
  Replies (5) Good night (363) Bad night (1320)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.

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  (917): It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet. http://tfl.nu/tf3l
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soon, soon....

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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  (732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?

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  (619): Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit? http://tfl.nu/j01e
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore

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  (214): I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore http://tfl.nu/ea8h
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (301)

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