I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym