Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude why did you let me call her?!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...

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  (803): dude why did you let me call her?! (1-803): i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation... http://tfl.nu/4h0w
  Replies (11) Good night (1055) Bad night (2580)
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  (323): View more from California

  Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.

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  (323): Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/rf3y
  Replies (43) Good night (4088) Bad night (868)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.

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  (251): i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening. http://tfl.nu/f2tp
  Replies (16) Good night (2875) Bad night (1698)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again

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  (847): he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again http://tfl.nu/lfrb
  Replies (23) Good night (935) Bad night (4580)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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  (512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg
  Replies (26) Good night (922) Bad night (5465)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (1987)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

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  (778): nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table http://tfl.nu/3lt3
  Replies (8) Good night (1837) Bad night (1402)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?

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  (201): Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs? http://tfl.nu/s4vs
  Replies (6) Good night (2696) Bad night (1144)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (2033) Bad night (704)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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  (540): He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward... http://tfl.nu/zj5d
  Replies (17) Good night (742) Bad night (1497)
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  (408): View more from California

  What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point

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  (408): What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point http://tfl.nu/9b7m
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (331)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!

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  (480): Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year! http://tfl.nu/fksl
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (1542)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom

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  (248): Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom http://tfl.nu/b9b7
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (277)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.

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  (512): He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/biva
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (233)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?

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  (239): On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets? http://tfl.nu/zqlt
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (205)

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