3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine