Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

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  (203): you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small http://tfl.nu/4mz5
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay

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  (910): Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay http://tfl.nu/jut6
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

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  (410): After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk http://tfl.nu/jjss
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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  (410): Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad. http://tfl.nu/536n
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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  (781): I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house. http://tfl.nu/8emi
  Replies (13) Good night (5555) Bad night (1253)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (2819) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever

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  (917): hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever http://tfl.nu/y96z
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.

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  (705): and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good. http://tfl.nu/bblv
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.

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  (201): Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory. http://tfl.nu/a6d4
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.

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  (484): you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out. http://tfl.nu/twgf
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  (206): View more from Washington

  the night ended with taco bell and tears

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  (206): the night ended with taco bell and tears http://tfl.nu/rh7j
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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  (484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.

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  (513): Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me. http://tfl.nu/sfml
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