Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
