He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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