His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hippo gnu deer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
