He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
