I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
