the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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