I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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