saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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