We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
