bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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