She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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