You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
