She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bring money and cleavage
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
