he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
please come you make the beer taste better
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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