i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
