Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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