so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
