dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
