Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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