Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"