Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you would pick up someone in the library
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.