Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.

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  (631): all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight. http://tfl.nu/hryw
  Replies (11) Good night (2427) Bad night (703)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to find a taint.

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  (724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x
  Replies (24) Good night (2604) Bad night (694)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

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  (253): don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects. http://tfl.nu/678l
  Replies (15) Good night (724) Bad night (2940)
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  (845): View more from New York

  If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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  (845): If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one? http://tfl.nu/fmgu
  Replies (11) Good night (802) Bad night (3895)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4215) Bad night (961)
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  (769): View more from Mississippi

  she said she likes her vagina punished

  (1-769): View more from Mississippi

  being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

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  (769): she said she likes her vagina punished (1-769): being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough http://tfl.nu/ts79
  Replies (35) Good night (1759) Bad night (7096)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.

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  (484): We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/ezuj
  Replies (9) Good night (3985) Bad night (644)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

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  (717): I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top. http://tfl.nu/bct2
  Replies (8) Good night (3701) Bad night (813)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1161) Bad night (2755)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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  (336): I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome. http://tfl.nu/6uzt
  Replies (18) Good night (3791) Bad night (1285)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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  (602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1
  Replies (10) Good night (3095) Bad night (1055)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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  (802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (512)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing

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  (908): Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing http://tfl.nu/ciob
  Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (397)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

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  (216): just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin. http://tfl.nu/vhdg
  Replies (10) Good night (266) Bad night (454)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  whose parrot is this?

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  (416): whose parrot is this? http://tfl.nu/79eu
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (213)

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