Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
