Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (671) Bad night (1588)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2410) Bad night (940)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

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  (732): dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund? http://tfl.nu/31zq
  Replies (15) Good night (6218) Bad night (936)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3698) Bad night (940)
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  (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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  (235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4
  Replies (55) Good night (2313) Bad night (6602)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
  Replies (11) Good night (3141) Bad night (1474)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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  (508): I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right. http://tfl.nu/agio
  Replies (5) Good night (1599) Bad night (780)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.

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  (479): My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman. http://tfl.nu/mmis
  Replies (5) Good night (1731) Bad night (425)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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  (787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (357)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.

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  (202): Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT. http://tfl.nu/ohed
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (408)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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  (732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (349)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!

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  (551): I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?! http://tfl.nu/sdve
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA

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  (317): I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA http://tfl.nu/krfu
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.

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  (304): My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time. http://tfl.nu/ngqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (271)

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