on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
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Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.