I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
