I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
